Heidi's Hell Hole

My inlaws are off camping this week, taking Granma to Yellowstone and asked us to house sit for them.

Basically, feed the dogs, the birds, and make sure the horses are okay. We'd stay out there until Thursday night. We agreed, and Bryan said he'd figure out someone to watch Kiera while we were gone.

Last night was my first night out there, Bryan had spent Sunday out there, while I stayed behind. We got there rather late, around 9 or so. After stopping at our house, dinner, and making sure Kiera had her Kibbles N Bits, we arrived.

Bryan put the birds "to bed" meaning he covered their cages. The bigger bird, Gizmo, was silent. The smaller bird, Woodrow, kept chirping "NIGHT NIGHT" for what seemed like an eternity, even after we went to bed.
After a while, I wanted to march right up to his cage and say, "Yes, Woodrow. Night night. Night. As in sleep. Go to SLEEP!"

When we did go to bed it just felt...Odd. Part of it was laying my head where my MIL lays her head. Don't get me wrong, she's an amazing woman, but it felt weird sleeping where she sleeps. Also, the mattress is a Temper Pedic, and very firm, and a queen size. Bry and I sleep in a King sized bed, with room to sprawl. Even though I've only slept on this bed for like a month, it felt like I was sleeping in a kids bed.

The horses, it seems, have an internal alarm clock that is unreal. Five AM rolls around, and they are up and ready to go. Making noise, that at first made me think Pooker was crying, and then just irritated the hell out of me. Every thirty minutes or so, they would whinny and wake me up and grrrr.

My inlaws dog, Sadie, also was there to remind my happily sleeping self to wake up. (In all fairness, Bryan did warn me.) At six AM, she sat in the doorway of the bedroom and whined. Apparently, my MIL wakes up with her. If you don't acknowledge Sadie, she will not let up. Bless her for her tenacity. She just gets louder, and louder, and LOUDER.

That didn't work, (silly dog, I can sleep through a plane crash), so she just came right up to my side of the bed and whined directly into my ear. OKAY! I GET IT! GAH, I'M UP, ALRIGHT?! Geez Louise.

Between the bird, the horses, the new bed, and a very persistant dog, I didn't sleep much. When I got to work I literally downed half a pot of fresh coffee in ten minutes.

Here's to another 2 days of chirping, whining, and whinnying!

I’M GETTIN’ HITCHED, Y’ALL!!!!!

 

It started with looking at rings and sets last weekend. Next thing you know, we’re talking about what type of wedding we want. Next thing you know, I’m standing next to him, “So, um how’s September fourth of next year sound?”

“For what?”

“For getting married. Tentatively, I swear.”

“Sure, works for me. Wanna hand me that wrench?”

 

I skipped back into the house and mass texted everyone to save the date. Because honestly, for me it translated into, (albeit probably incorrectly but whatever), “Go ahead and make that the date and start planning OUR. WEDDING. FINALLY.”

 

My BFF (and Matron of Honor) Jacqueline asked if he proposed…Well…Technically, no. But he’s agreed to a date and that’s good enough for me. Details, people, just details.

 

I’ve picked out bridesmaids and go to look at gowns on Saturday.

 

Hello....



It’s Thursday. I’m tired. The weather right now sucks. Here’s more randomness for your enjoyment.

 

-The bébé gluton, from Spain…Nothing short of disturbing. It’s a doll marketed towards 9 year olds to promote breastfeeding. The concept is that you put on a halter top WITH PASTIES and it mimics breastfeeding. TF and I for ONCE agree on something: it is disgusting. How high do you have to be to think THIS is a good idea for a childrens toy?!

 

-You know you need more sleep when you forget you’re driving a stick shift and just hit the gas, kill the car, and can’t figure out why it doesn’t go.

 

-Last Wednesday, from my horrific day, I polished off a Vodka bottle and asked Bryan to marry me. He said no. I’m going to tell myself it’s just because I was drunk.

 

-95% of the texts I send Jacqueline could easily be on textsfromlastnight.com. If she’s ever angry at me, and has a penchant for revenge, I’m screwed. I’ve also spent like 10 hours total on that site.

 

-So I went online and found THE perfect ring. It’s a 2 carat ring, in a white gold setting and it made me get physically excited, and it’s cheap. (Well, comparatively anyway.) I went online today to look at it and IT IS GONE. I honestly had a panic attack. They have ONE left in the nation, and pretty much once it’s gone IT IS GONE. I pray to everything holy we can get our hands on the last one. He doesn’t need to use it right now, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let my dream ring slip through my fingers. Hell to the no.

 

-When I was drunk I also sent a drunken text to Jacqueline saying we’re such soul mates WE should get married. She never responded, so I’m going to assume that’s also a no. I’m zero for two right now.

 

-Because I love skin cancer, a few weeks ago I fell asleep at the lake with baby oil on my back for like 2 hours. The bad news is I (of course) got one hell of a sunburn. The good news is that if I wanted to, I could’ve gotten a job as the Red Lobster mascot.

 

-My cousin is retarded. Like got his drivers license at 36 retarded because he couldn’t pass the test multiple times kind of retarded.

 

-I found pictures of his wedding via my other cousins Myspace. He is smoking an American Spirit during his freaking vows. There should no longer be any question why I do not associate with that part of the branchless family tree.