Heidi's Hell Hole

 
Way to kick my ass, food poisoning.

Not that I had a huge weekend planned anyway, but it would've been nice to do something other than lay on the couch and DIE.

It started with some cramps Friday evening, that within a matter of an hour was full on hurling my innards out. I couldn't even hold it for the trip home, I ended up puking in the truck.

Without getting all TMI on the three of you who read this blog (and already knew), let's just say at one point it was coming out my nose, there was blood coming out of my esophagus, and my system was kicking back water. I called both my parents, utterly convinced I was just DYING.

I was up until four the in friggin' morning, and um...So was Bryan. I was bawling, "I'M DYING BRYAN, OH MAI GAWD CAN'T YOU SEEEEE?!"

Saturday I pretty much slept the whole day, since I got no sleep the night before. I didn't puke much, but then the cramping started. Holy hell, that was worse than the hurling. I could feel that coming on, and knew it would end in a minute or so. Not cramps! Hoooo no! They'd come, they'd stay for a bit, make themselves comfy (if not wholly unwelcome), and then they'd leave. The cramps felt like when I was in labor, DYING Y'ALL, and the second epidural wore off, and just in case the point wasn't made earlier: DYING. (I may be exxagerating, but I shit you not they really did feel like labor.) At that point, I was advocating going to the hospital, faking labor, and BEGGING for an epidural. (Ask Bryan if I actually asked to do that, because, I was DYING, and also wasn't entirely coherent.)

Kiera, our seventy five pound sack of loving dumbness, felt sorry for me and jumped up on the couch to cuddle me. On my stomach. While I was cramping. Doubt she'll be making that mistake again.

When I was in the throes of the cramps I briefly considered pushing. (Remember, not coherent.) In a moment of lucidity, it occured to me that when you push, things come out. There's only one thing to push out and I didn't have the strength to get up and shuffle my DYING ass to the bathroom. I didn't push. Bryan is grateful.

I'm better now. I'm no longer DYING. I'm back to my bitchy ole self again.
 
 

Let’s just call this what it is: a recession. There, I’ve said it. No more kidding myself that things aren’t really as bad as they seem. I am very fortunate that Bryan and I still have our jobs and a warm place to live. While gas prices have finally gone down so that we can finally afford to fill our tanks up, ($1.69 a gallon, y’all!), what we do worry about is how to feed our families. Grocery prices, at least in my neck of the woods, still border on usury. But, we have found ways to eat well on the cheap. Here’s a few secrets and recipes. (Disclaimer: keep in mind that you’re taking cooking tips from the woman who made chicken soup so bad the dog wouldn’t eat it.)

 

-Shop the sales and bring coupons. A local grocery store, Yokes, has chicken and ground beef on sale regularly for $1.29 a pound. We buy as much as we possibly can. Albertsons also has ten to $10.00 days, and if there is a Safeway near you….Get the club card. It’s totally free, and I cannot tell you how many times we’ve shaved upwards of $30 off our bill using that club card.

 

-That being said, don’t be afraid to buy a little something for yourself. For example, lately Wal-Mart has had Oreos on sale 2 for $5.00, so we buy two packages. Or sometimes they have Bryans chips on sale 2 for $6.00, so he can have his treat. Typically those treats last us quite a while, and it feels good to have some comfort food.

 

-Don’t be afraid to give those leftovers a makeover. Left over hamburger meat? Make tacos! Already taco seasoned? Make a casserole, a soup, or hey have a nacho night. For example, we have tons of leftover turkey. I am making a stew out of the leftovers.

 

-Don’t be afraid to Google what food you have for a recipe. Just type in the foods you want to use and recipe and you’ll come up with lots of hits, I promise you.

 

-If you can afford it and have the space, buy in bulk. We buy a lot of chicken and ground beef. We also buy London Broil steaks. They’re huge. One steak makes for 5-6 meals, easily. When you get it home, cut it up in the portion sizes you want, and freeze them. Yes, you can eat steak during a recession. If you eat a lot of tacos and brown gravy like we do, it pays to go to your local bulk store like Cosco or Sams Club and get the bigger container.

 

 

Also, here are some general recipe and meal ideas to eat well on the cheap:

 

-Chicken Caesar salad. Shredded or cubed chicken, dressing, and cheese. Or you can grab some wraps and have wraps.

-Taco night! About a pound of ground beef, some taco seasoning, and some taco shells is all your need for this. Where this can get expensive is when you add the toppings: guacamole, sour cream, cheese, you get the idea.

-Meatloaf! The old standby. A pound of ground beef mixed with a cup of oatmeal, one egg, and I personally prefer Johnnys seasoning salt and garlic powder. We always make real mashed potatoes to go with it. You can find a sack of potatoes, 10 pounds for $3 here.

-Make your own burgers. If you want to give it a kick, add some onion soup mix.

-Take a portion of your steak, cut it up and throw it into a stew. Cheap, filling, and good.

-Breakfast night! We always have bacon, (its cheaper to buy from the deli. Especially if you get the end pieces. You just have to ask for them!) eggs, and hashbrowns. Pancakes are another easy and cheap food to make too.