Dear Assesor, Thank you for not listening to a damn thing I had to say. Every time I would try and point something out or say something helpful, I was poo-pooed. "We're the professionals, we know what we're doing." That little statement made me doubt everything I'd ever done as a Mother, and everything I'd done to help her speech along. You gave me the results and tore my world apart. Four months?! I was crushed, and I was angry at the world. I was so mad that someone had dared to tell me my baby girl, my heart, my soul, my world, my EVERYTHING was anything less than perfect. But at the same time, I thought to myself that I was justified, that something was wrong. Anyone who dared contradict me brought my full wrath upon them. I even wrote into my favorite advice column, Alpha Mom, twice about it! I feel like I need to write in and apologize, "Sorry, false alarm! I'm a jackass! Thanks for publishing my questions, and having people respond! Love your blogs, though!" For three weeks we waited for the second appointment. Three very long, very torturous weeks. Three weeks of living in a self-created hell. I doubted everything I'd ever done when I was pregnant, in labor, or as a parent. Was it because I drank coffee when I was pregnant? Was it the two epidurals? Did I not work with her enough? I picked fights with everyone. It was not a pleasant time in my household, and now I owe just about everyone I know an apology for being such a snatch. Only to find out last night, you didn't even DO THE DAMN TEST RIGHT AND DIDN'T READ THE DAMN DIRECTIONS! The second assesor, Paula, apologized on your behalf. She apologized that we had to go through this, she apologized that you didn't give the test right. Come to find out, you didn't give her credit for things, when you had them noted on the test that SHE FREAKING DID THEM! What the hell, tester?! Needlessly Bryan and I wondered if Pook would be alright in the end. I spent three weeks trying to figure out how we'd afford her therapy. THREE WEEKS, YOU BITCH. Paula was so upset that she put in a call to your office to ream your ass out. You haven't returned her phone call, I doubt that you will. You're damn lucky Bryan wasn't there at the testing, he would've left you in tears. While I stood back and laughed. Next time, why don't you READ THE DIRECTIONS, ADMINISTER THE TEST CORRECTLY, and here's a novel idea...LISTEN TO THE PARENTS. Hopefully some other family doesn't need to go through what we went through due to your mistakes. As I write this, I am trying to refrain from cursing too much. It's taking quite a bit. When I am as furious as I am now, I swear quite profusely. But I will say this, a parting curse: FUCK OFF, BITCH. If I had to put a word to how I'm feeling, I couldn't. There's so many emotions running through me right now...Anger, relief, frustration, happiness. We had Pooks second, more in depth assesment tonight. Basically, she is NOT that delayed. She's got the abilities of a 15 month old. Basically, the person who administered the first test not only didn't do it right, she didn't follow the directions of the test, and knows little to nothing about the development of an infant. I am SO happy & relieved that she isn't delayed. I was crying with happiness. The assesor tonight said she'd like to see her around 18 months to make sure she is on track then as well. I am so fucking pissed off at the initial assesment. When they told me their results, I shut down. I bawled and I was heartbroken, and I was angry. How dare they say my baby girl is anything less than perfect? Why didn't they do it right the first time? When they tested her the first time, they set her in a chair and buckled her in. And basically forced her to perform. Because she didn't perform, they didn't give her credit for things I told them she does! For three weeks, I've been torturing myself, living in my own hell. Blaming myself, fighting with everyone else who said "She's FINE." Bryan and I fought about it. He was saying she was fine, while I would screech that she's not. He was the voice of reason. But three goddamn weeks of wondering if I did something wrong. Did I do something while I was pregnant? In labor? Have I done something wrong as a parent? As a mother? All to find out we're doing everything we should be. We're doing "it" just fine. The assesor tonight, Paula, (if you ever read this thank you for...everything.) was so ticked off at how the initial assesment and how it was handled that she is placing a call to the initial person to, more or less, ream her out. She personally apologized for us having to go through all of this, and how it was handled, and how that person is a discredit to the profession. While I apologized to Bryan for more or less being a bitch, I will absolutely not apologize for following my gut. I refuse to apologize for acting on the instinct that something was wrong with my child. I would do it no matter if it was a fever, or a developmental delay. No mother should ever apologize for making sure their child is healthy. And I won't. It's martini-thirty, right? 10/14/2009
As I write this, it is barely 1300 hours. I have been up for six hours and I’m ready to crawl into a dark hole. My day started out crappy and has continued to be crap. First of all, I woke up with a headache, which I still have. Bryan and I were grouchy with each other this morning, since work for us has been hell. I felt bad when he left. (I love you, baby!) I have been rather lax about laundry of late. Because of my laziness, I had to root around for ten minutes to find panties. I did find panties, though I wouldn’t use that term. More like big-as-a-banner granny panties. (Side note to underwear manufacturers: panties shouldn’t come up to just below my boobs. FYI.) (Side side note: why do I own these again? Oh, right, I wore them in the hospital when Pook was born.) I left early for work since it’s raining out, and traffic can be a bear. My route to work involves driving by a river. A river with little duckies. I almost ran over one of those little duckies. I swerved to avoid hitting it, but it rattled me. I got to work, and my computer decided to run super slowly. My morning report normally takes 20 minutes to run, code, analyze, print, and distribute. But, this morning it took an hour. When I printed it out, my printer used a ream of paper spewing gibberish. Lovely, so I spent another hour doing it again. Meanwhile, I’ve got management on my ass about where the hell that report is! I ended up having to show them the ream of paper so they’d shut the hell up. That fiasco over with, corporate sent us their idea of a flu prevention kit…A box of single ply, 20 grit sandpaper…Um, I mean Kleenex. I am not making this up. This is how corporate tells its employees they care. I’m pretty sure the next round of cutbacks are right around the corner. Riiiight about that time, my email decides to take a complete dump and crash. So, any hopes I had about those important emails I had sent reaching their intended recipients crashed with it. So, pretty much, since my offices lives and dies on email, communication wise, my day just got screwed. I rebooted and tried again. No dice. Well, fuck me sideways. And of course, once again, I’ve got people all but screaming “WHERE IS THAT EMAIL?!” By this time, it’s roughly ten AM… My receptionist catches me on my way upstairs, “Heidi there’s a call for you. She’s a real bitch.” Gee, thanks. The customer was a bitch and a half. See, our billing is driven off of metered data that our customer provides. She said her metered data was wrong. I suggested maybe someone read the data wrong and she flew off the handle about how dare I suggest her employees aren’t trained! The entire time I was on the phone with her, she stopped just short of calling me a horrid, stupid slut. She ended by saying she was going to cancel her contract. I didn’t try to dissuade her. The final straw of my day came about lunch time. My boss decided to heat up “tuna surprise”. Let me tell everyone a little secret: when you work in an office, you never heat up anything stinky or smelly. Tuna STINKS. It smells like the inside of Satan’s ass. My boss, bless ‘is heart, never got that damn memo. He is noshing away in his office, and might I add, with an alarming level of enjoyment. Who the hell likes leftover tuna surprise?! I asked him to shut his door, as it’s starting to make me ill. He tells me to quit being dramatic. I started my rebuttal but I was interrupted by throwing up in my trashcan. I raced downstairs to throw up in the bathroom. People saw me hurl. People heard me hurl. My other boss screeched, “YOU’VE GOT SWINE FLUUUUU! LEAVE THIS PLACE!! GO HOME! OH MAH GAWD, EWW!” I was all too happy to oblige. I get home, plop down on the couch and Kiera comes over and looks at me sympathetically. She then proceeded to hurl. On my shoes. Damn dog. Tonight, we have Pookers second evaluation. I am beyond nervous. I’m worried the people will judge me as a mother, like I have FAILED my child. Just another way my day can suck, and another way Mommy Guilt can wrack me yet again. Considering my day so far, I’m going to apologize in advance for any drunk texting later on…. Well, shit. 09/25/2009
I've been thinking for months that Pooker is speech delayed. Yet everyone told me I was overreacting, every child is different, and how I need to calm down. I cannot effectively articulate how much those statements frustrated and angered me. I knew something was wrong with her. I knew her speech was off, I knew that she wasn't as developed as she was supposed to be. And yet everyone told me to shut up, she's fine. Finally, I philosophically gave everyone the finger and scheduled her to be evaluated by the county. "You're just wasting your time" they said. I said they could shove it up their asses, I was going to test her anyway. They were WRONG, internets! As it turned out, she is indeed speech delayed. As of this posting, she is 16 months old. She has the speech abilities of a 9 month old. She should have at least 2-3 words in her vocabulary, and trying to mimic what we say. She will try to sound out consonants, but she doesn't say WORDS. When the evaluator asked her where I was, and who I was she just shrieked. So where does this leave me? Well, the nurse is coming to our house next Thursday to do a more in-depth evaluation. From there, she'll keep coming to the house and to daycare to work with her. For once, I was right. But I wish I was wrong, that she was normal. This is my Pooker Butt. The baby I fought so hard to keep healthy when I was pregnant, despite my body working against me. The little girl who has my heart, melting every time I see her smile. The baby who is so upbeat, who runs as fast as her little legs can carry her to give me a big hug. She is my heart. She is my soul. She is my life. She's....just...she's everything. Dear Wednesday: SCREW YOU 07/29/2009
Ever have one of those days where you wake up just itchin’ for a drink, but you’re so tired you’re afraid you’d drown in your rum and Coke? Really? Just me? Oh, well okay then. I woke up late because I could not sleep last night. I suspect it’s because my Mother gave Bryan and I a new king sized bed, and I’m still getting used to it. The mattress is a heck of a lot firmer than our old one, and I’m not used to having so much room. I’m used to having Bryan smooshed right up against me, and now I can lie on the bed, like the Vitruvian man and still not touch him. I also had a freaky dream about my delivery driver and the in house technician. The driver was King of Scotland, wearing a kilt and the uniform shirt, while the tech was a court jester…In a Spandex leotard. I need professional help. I had all of five minutes to shower, get dressed, do my hair and makeup, and get to work on time. I ended up taking a 2 second shower, pulling my still dripping-wet hair into a ponytail, eschewing makeup, grabbed the first pair of clean pants & shirt I could find and literally ran out the damn door. On the way to work, a guy next to me was honkin’ up a storm. I turned, and it’s one of the guys I used to work with years ago. He knew my name, asked how Bryan as doing while I….Couldn’t for the life of me remember his name. He wanted to chat; as I was driving down the road, resisting the urge to just speed up and speed off. When he (finally) turned off, I was stuck behind Father Time in a caravan. Behind me was some kid who looks like he just graduated from wearing Scooby Doo underwear in an Accord. I dropped a gear, switched lanes, and passed him. The Scooby Dooby Doo kid pulled up next to me and shouted, “OH MY GOD, I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOUR MERCEDES! MARRY ME!” Um, dude. It’s a BMW. It says so on the back. Can you not read the alphabet? Did you see the BMW logo and confuse it with Mercedes-Benz? I mean, seriously, WTF? I got to work, and nearly wept with joy at the sight of coffee in the coffee pot. I poured myself a big mug, and took a long swallow, only to find out it was yesterdays brew that was kept warm and no one has made a fresh pot yet. I nearly wept again, but not for joy. Then I got into a fight with a rep who submitted six different contracts for ONE account, so they’d have different rates throughout the year. When I told the customer it doesn’t work like that, she called the rep who informed her, verbatim, “Heidi doesn’t know shit.” Excuuuuse me? Who’s been here longer, and who’s dealt with contracts exclusively for that time? Oh, that’s right: ME. Screw you, bud. Y’know what? Screw you twice. Finally, lunch time rolled around. I had $5 to my name, and thank God Boons Wine was one sale for $3.99. Yes, I did drink my lunch. I also found out that the Bimmer I’ve been RAVING about, showing off, and generally acting better than you in? It came thisclose to overheating while I was driving back from Ye Olde Liquor Store. That’ll teach me to be humble, won’t it? It wasn’t even 1:00PM yet, and I painted a pretty pathetic picture: hiding out in the back parking lot, drinking cheap wine from the bottle, chain smoking, and wishing I could take a spork from the break room to slit my damn wrists. After lunch, I found out that I owe some company from years ago close to $350. For a bill that my ex-husband created, but it was in my name. When we divorced, he told me he’d take care of it, but the douchebag clearly never did. So, it went to collections, who took it to court. They tried serving me papers, at a job I haven’t worked at in over 4 years. Finally, someone over there wised up, because I got a notice in the mail about it, and I now have to find $350 somewhere and pay these douchetards, or they’ll garnish my wages. Aaaand since my ex and I never had anything more than a verbal agreement and it’s in my name, guess who’s stuck with the bill no matter what? I found out we have 2 Coronas, and a bit o’ whiskey and tequila at the house. I’m thinking about just mixing all three together when I get home. When it rains.... 07/10/2009
This week has been craptastic. Several little things that have happened have made me want to explode. Here's a run down: Major parenting FAIL 06/16/2009
Most everyone knows that I swear. A lot. Heck, even my friend K's husband didn't know who I she was talking about until she said, "You know, Heidi? The one that swears a lot?" "Oh, you mean Heidi Goddamnit?" I love Scotch. Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch. 06/03/2009
Paragraph. My dear, lovely, sweet receptionist had the day off today, so I had to fill in for because “Didn’t you start off as a receptionist like eleventy-gazillion years ago?” What a day it was. To give you an idea of how craptacular my day was…I drank my lunch at a bar down the street. Seriously. For realz, yo. This recession blows 05/22/2009
Up until now, the recession hadn’t really affected Bryan and I. Sure, we shopped a little smarter, and things like that. But we both had our jobs, and our full pay. To say that I am mad, furious, angry, upset, or livid right now would be such a gross understatement. I am so engraged right now that my hands are shaking to the point where it's hard to even type. |

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