Heidi's Hell Hole

Here is an open letter I wrote to the notoriously slutty Cyrus sisters. Now, the Old Wolf would tell you that I tried to dress this way. And yes, I did. WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER. I was not nine years old, and I certainly wasn't dancing on a stripper pole like Miley Cyrus did at the teen choice awards. Somone PLEASE call CPS on this family already and have those kids taken away. Preferably to someone who will force them to dress Amish. Look, I dressed a bit provacatively in my day. Most girls did. However I wasn't NINE YEARS OLD.

(Go to Babycenters Famebaby blog to get a gander at the sluttiness that is Noah Cyrus.)

Look, as the Stepmother to a nine year old girl, I can tell you it'd be a cold day in HELL before I let her walk out of the house with a dress so short you could see her cooter. As a parent, I am nothing short of appalled and disgusted with the clothing marketed to girls T's age. What business does a nine year old have wearing shorts with "JUICY" written across the ass? (I've seen them, they DO exist.) Why not just put a sign around your neck advertising yourself to anyone with pedophilic tendencies and BEG to be knocked up before you're 18, hmmm?

Without further ado, here is the letter I have written to the Slutty Cryus Clan:

Dear Cyrus Sisters,

Thanks to the both of you cavorting around dressed wildly inappropriate, you have lost a part of your fan base. See, what neither of you seem to grasp is that parents (such as I) control what our children watch, and control what they buy.

Thanks to Miley dancing like a stripper during the Teen Choice awards, I will be throwing out anything Hannah Montana. Thanks to Noah dressing like a hooker at a recent Halloween party, we will not watch her show. Nor will we buy anything Cyrus-related.

Both of you are practically begging every person with pedophilic tendencies to fantasize about you. You are also screaming with your choice of wardrobes and actions, "Fill my womb before I am ready for such a responsability!"

I hope the both of you realize that you're not only hurting yourselves, you're losing fans rather quickly.

Signed,
A Concerned Mother